


I’m like a bird 날아갈게

by humanepluviophile



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, JunHao - Freeform, Lots of Angst, M/M, birds lol, fuck i almost cried while writing this, i like how it goes from him sippin some lemonade to like bleeding in the middle of the woods lol, junhao day 2018, lmao whoops, no spoils but uhh lets just say junhui is a flower boy, pls dont kill me i know this is sad, semi-vent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-19 23:41:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14883476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanepluviophile/pseuds/humanepluviophile
Summary: Jun desperately misses the kisses of his ex boyfriend Minghao and thus follows a black bird into the forest in search of an answer to his loneliness.(for Junhao Day 2018)





	I’m like a bird 날아갈게

The heat of the summer was too hot for Jun.

He was happy but lonely in a sense; content that school was out but upset that he had no one to share the summer with…

Especially Hao.

Jun remembered everything about the fellow Chinese boy including the way his pitch black hair fell so drastically over his creamy complexion, the way his button nose tilted up ever so slightly at the end, the way his eyes traced the lines of his own body,... the feeling of his lips on his own.

Jun swallowed from his dry mouth and shifted his vision to the pink lemonade that sat on the table next to him. The glass was dripping from the condensation of the outside of the glass and the ice cubes clinked slightly as they melted down the lemonade. He reached for it and as he sipped, he savoured the tart taste of the lemon that made him pucker his lips.

Lips. Pink lips.

_Jun missed the Early Morning kiss- a kiss that’s a wake up call, it's barely even lips touching, more like he was kissing his chin because Hao’s so tired in the early morning haze._

Trying to shake his attention away from the constant stream of thoughts of Minghao, and onto the book he was reading.

“Adam is crying and somewhere inside of me I am crying, too, because I'm feeling things at last. I'm feeling not just the physical pain, but all that I have lost, and it is profound and catastrophic and will leave a crater in me that nothing will ever fill.” He read softly aloud to the birds that he likes to imagine listening to him.

At times like these, he felt increasingly solemn. The boy wished he had someone to read to. Someone that valued him in the way he so desperately cared for others. That's all he’d ever wanted.

Another drink of the cold lemonade makes him squint up into the buzz of sunlight above him. The hum of the woods behind his deck echoes through the vibrant viridian leaves and almost reflected back into the forest floor. He watched two chipmunks chase each other in a spiral around and up a tree. They stopped at the top of a branch like statues and sluggishly inched towards each other as if testing waters. A soft smirk flooded to his face, sparking another memory.

_Jun missed the Hesitant kiss- The type of kiss where Minghao’s lips touch a brush against his a few times, breath fanning across each of their faces as one waits for the other to make a move._

The tall young adult tried to physically shake the thoughts away, tears almost pricking his eyes, forcing himself to gulp down more of that tangy lemonade. As hard as he tried to focus, he just couldn’t. Forcing his long legs to stretch and stand, Jun broke into almost a sprint to run to the other side of the sliding glass door of his deck.

He hated the noise of his own thoughts and needed to drown them out. He used the energy pent up inside of him to run up the stairs of his condo, skipping steps with long strides. When he got to the top of the stairs, he was panting hard and doubled over, the now muggy air burning at his lungs.

_Jun missed the Breathtaking kiss- It’s the kiss that he can’t do anything for a few seconds after, he keeps his eyes closed with mouth agape as he tries to let his mind process what happened._

He almost angrily snatched his earbuds off his desk, plugged them into his phone, popped them into his ears and ran back down the stairs and back outside. Junhui glanced at the book on the ground that he didn’t particularly remember throwing down only to see a black bird pecking at the pages. It soon grabbed the book in its pointed beak and started to fly off with it; dropping the book at the bottom of the stairs of the deck. The boy was in shock and instantly jumped down the steps of his deck to the bottom of his mother’s garden.

That was when he realized he forgot shoes. The grass was surprisingly cold enough to shock the soles of his feet; each blade sprouted through the breaks between each toe. He spent a moment of solace, staring at his feet and wiggling his toes, feeling the grass as it ripped underneath him.

Then, a loud screech from the crow awoke him. The pitch crow was perched on a skinny branch on a tree about 30 feet away, staring at him. Jun just stared back, a gust of wind making him lose his balance and stumble forward. The crow squawked again and jumped off the branch, flying low to the ground.

It was then that the impulse to follow the bird swam through him. He wiped away a string of sweat pouring from his brow with the back of his hand.

_Jun missed the In The Moment kiss- Maybe it’s in the middle of an argument or he just looked too damn beautiful not to kiss, but the other boy’s lips were hot against his and it felt too good to stop._

At first, Jun’s bare feet started to ache as he ran over wood chips and dirt and rocks and other various forest floor debris but eventually, the pain subsided and was only replaced with the everlasting desire to catch the fleeting bird. Jun was so determined on catching the bird that when his earbuds got caught on a branch and pulled out of his ears, falling to the ground with his phone, he didn't care a single bit. He kept running after the bird, feeling angrier the more it flew away from him. Junhui couldn’t stop his intense stare at the black mass weaving through the trees.

_Jun missed the Unbreakable kiss- The type of kiss that really shouldn’t be happening, it’s a mistake, but he just can’t find himself able to pull away._

The urge to catch this illusive crow grew stronger with each pump of Junhui’s legs and each stab of a sliver into the bottom of his foot. Bugs swarmed around his eyes and mouth and face, but Jun didn’t care, he kept running and soon enough the pain in his chest became too much. He felt his acceleration faltering and his throat gasping for air desperately. But Jun pushed. All he wanted was not to feel alone. That damn bird stole his book and he was already too far into the forest to turn back.

_Jun missed the Can’t Let You Go kiss- The type of goodbye kiss when they kept leaving quick pecks on each other’s lips, but end up pulling each other back for more, which could go on for hours if one of them didn’t finally pull away._

One thing about the bird that annoyed Jun was the fact that it seemed to taunt him, everytime Jun would reach out or get a little closer, the bird would pick up its pace and stay just out of reach. He was frustrated that the stupid bird didn't just fly up into the trees and hide like any other bird would; no, it stayed right at Junhui’s eye level, making sure Junhui knew he was there. While running, he looked down to his feet for a brief moment, which were now covered in dirt and leaves that got caught in the crossfire. That was when Jun understood that he had no clue where he was. His phone had dropped out of his pocket a solid 15 minutes ago and he had gone off-path to follow the bird. This fueled Junhui’s fury more and a new boost of energy sparked in him.

“WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS,” Jun yelled loudly at the bird through the bustle of the leaves as he continued to chase after it. “I'M LOST AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU _STUPID_ FUCKING BIRD!” He grabbed the nearest tree branch and chucked it weakly at the bird.

And as if almost on cue, like Karma had heard him, he tripped hard over a fallen tree log and stumbled down a fairly short but steep hill into a large clearing.

_Jun missed the Distracting kiss- when he is competing, maybe playing video games or something so he presses kisses anywhere available; arms, nose, knees, ears, knuckles, temples, just anywhere to distract the other._

When he sat up, his shirt ripped and at this point he was covered in dirt and leaves. He looked around frantically for the bird that was nowhere to be found. Junhui looked up at the now darkening sky and asked himself “Have I really been running for this long?” He looked down at his bleeding feet and answered his own question.

The lungs in his chest felt shriveled and dead, overworked and now tired as he coughed for a solid 5 minutes. The coughing persisted until he tasted iron in his mouth… and he could have sworn… a flower petal? Looking at the palm of his hand, Junhui looked closely into the blood and saw a wilted flower petal that was red and slicked with blood. It was a forest, so there could be flowers anywhere, but this one seemed unreal, like it came from Jun himself. Almost as if to affirm his thoughts, he coughed up another petal and soon felt a choking sensation crawl up his neck.

_Jun missed the Goodbye kiss- It’s the almost late for work kisses when Hao’s lips just pecked Jun’s, like an unfinished goodbye._

More and more flower petals spurt from his throat along with blood and mucus. He soon felt weak and pounded his fists against the lush forest floor in retaliation.

“No!” he tried to scream, but his gurgled voice was too full of flora to make a coherent sound.

It was at this moment that Junhui realized he was crying. At first, he thought it was just more blood and mucus from his mouth but his eyes were itchy and aching and the salty tears rolled onto his tongue. Knowing that he was sobbing, lost, bloody, and tired in the middle of nowhere made Jun cry out more. Nobody would care anyway. Nobody would look for him. Even the stupid bird was gone

He felt the flowers sprouting from his heart, crawling up his throat and intertwining themselves into his tongue. The buds are already poking through the surface of his skin and blooming at the knowledge that Xu Minghao has indeed moved on. The disease is taking over Jun and suddenly he can’t breathe. Flowers infiltrate his lungs and the blood/tears fruit punch just won’t stop pouring onto the forest floor.

_Jun missed the Empty kiss- When one of them doesn’t kiss back, just the stoic feeling of his lips on his, its empty, like no one even cares anymore._

Eventually, everything was still in the clearing where Jun laid on his back. It was as if time stopped. The blood and flowers and tears and coughing stopped. He could feel the earth enveloping him into the ground and he laughed slightly, his blood-stained lips cracked. Oh, how he finally got his wish for the past 4 months; to be 6 feet under.

The small vines of nearby plants cascaded over him, hugging him and made him feel safe. A calm setting came to mind. It was now very dark, the sun setting and it was golden hour. The forest top was gorgeous, the way the orange light rained onto the jade leaves. He watched the shadows grow stronger as the light faded through lidded eyes, suddenly feeling so tired.

Jun thought of his love, Minghao, and how he missed him so much before finally closing his long eyelashes to rest for an eternity. Jun didn’t know it but as if on cue once again, the pitch black crow gently flapped over and sat delicately on the bloodied chest of Wen Junhui, pecking at the flowers that now were seamlessly integrated into the ground.

_Jun missed the Post Break Up Kiss- The kiss that catches both of them off guard, but says I miss you, I’m sorry, and Please love me again all at once without any words being spoken._


End file.
